the fast I choose
Today, I felt it- the anticipation of Lent. I welcomed it in, like a familiar friend I’ve been missing. My steps echoed these pandemic Lenten journeys when I walked and walked and walked. We were forced to give up so much that I don’t remember specific choices these recent years. The gift of Lent got lost in the greater loss. But today, in the still gray, I glimpsed it again.
My plans aren’t your plans, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. Isaiah 55:8 (CEB)
In Advent, the days grow shorter and darker. In Lent, the morning light comes earlier and stays longer. Advent is communal anticipation. Lent is a more private journey, inward. I rarely share my choices until it is finished. Partly because I don’t know what will transpire in these forty days. How will I be changed? And it is so easy to critique others’ Lenten practices, the decisions to do or not do.
Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my plans than your plans. Is. 55:9 (CEB)
Lent is a gift that reveals itself slowly. And so I slow down. Yesterday I allowed myself a rare morning of reading while it rained and thundered. Today I will put away the last lingering Christmas decorations. The book is overdue and February is almost gone. Perhaps we can fast from the voices of criticism, within and without.
Let them return to the Lord so that he may have mercy on them, to our God, because he is generous with forgiveness. Is. 55:7b (CEB)
Generosity with ourselves and others. Elusive at times. After six years of preparing and chairing leadership team meetings, I am taking a Lenten-Easter break. This is an unusual fast that never before occurred to me. Not my thoughts, my plans, my way. Fasting entails risk and vulnerability. I hesitate to go into the wilderness, not knowing what I will find there. And I feel the Spirit drawing me out.
When Jesus went away by himself to pray, the disciples found him disconcertingly unavailable. They would have scheduled his time differently. There are many voices telling us how we ought to live. To fast or not to fast. To do more or do less.
This Lent, I encourage you to quiet yourself and listen for the One who loves you. That is the Voice that beckons us. Following is not without risk. May we have enough faith to take that next step. -Renée