a fleece
I thought we were being prompted to expand the NCF stage, make it more accessible with a bigger turning radius at the top of the ramp, add railings on stairs with deeper treads, and (finally!) recarpet. I met with our wheelchair expert and talked to musicians and sound technicians. Our leadership team and finance folks agreed to move ahead. Searching for a black-owned business, I happened upon a Christian contractor who recently built a similar stage at his church in Urbana. It felt blessed and serendipitous.
Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to hide it from the Midianites. The Lord’s messenger appeared to him and said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior!” Judges 6:11b-12 (CEB)
We found metal workers to fabricate railings, talked to city inspectors, and hired experienced architects. I expected the work to be done this summer, and then to celebrate in October for Disability Awareness. Months have passed, and I have become uncertain. Fearful. Maybe the timing is wrong, or I misunderstood.
But Gideon replied to him, “With all due respect, my Lord, if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his amazing works that our ancestors recounted to us…? Judges 6:13a
I look for direction in the little things- how pieces come together (or not), how a word from a friend and daily scriptures align. The last time I remember putting a test before the Lord was when we were in seminary and I wanted to buy a house. I loved Virginia- the weather, the mountains, and the Mennonites in Harrisonburg who welcomed us so warmly. I wanted it so much that I couldn’t hear God above my own desire, so I asked for a sign. The idyllic farmhouse was on the market for months: the third strike in our house hunt when it sold. That summer we moved to Urbana; all the pieces came together like a miracle. I was sad to leave friends and mountains, but the decision felt clear.
The delays in the stage expansion and the new city inspectors cause me to question whether this project is of God or of my own will. As I weighed again the pros and cons, fearful of making a mistake, a strange phrase came to mind, “put out a fleece.” This surprised me. Really? Is that a good way to discern God’s will? (I would usually advise against it.)
Gideon’s sense of self was small; he had no ambition to assemble an army to deliver Israel from invaders. He was overcome by the Lord’s spirit and stepped up to lead, then needed confirmation.
But then Gideon said to God, “To see if you really intend to rescue Israel through me as you have declared, I’m now putting a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece but all the ground is dry, then I’ll know that you are going to rescue Israel through me, as you have declared.” Judges 6:36-37
I am surprised by how accommodating God was. Every time Gideon asked for a sign, God came through, never chastising him, always reassuring him. This crazy idea to drive out the oppressors with followers from the smallest tribes in Israel was not Gideon’s, it was God’s. So the Lord provided little miracles to build Gideon’s faith for the big miracles to come.
It is vulnerable to put out a fleece and ask for confirmation. Generally speaking, I don’t think this is how we hear from the Lord. Perhaps the exception highlights the rule? It is vulnerable to share with you this strange situation. I do not know what God has in store for us. I do not know if the time is now or ever to expand the stage. So I am listening, watching, waiting. For this project to proceed on the particular timetable we put before the Lord (and the contractor) would be a miracle. Dew on the fleece while all the ground is dry. Or dew on the ground while the fleece is dry.
And God did so that night. Judges 6:40a
Ron says that we learn to love the Lord by experimenting with how to become better followers, better listeners. There is no fear in love, because perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18.) And so, with Gideon, we put our lives in God’s hands. Lead us, guide us, along the way.
May we trust God’s vision of ourselves and God’s plan for our future. May our fears be replaced by love. May we see God’s presence in the little miracles, and may we move forward when God leads.
-Renée
3 Comments On “a fleece”
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So I walked by my 9 yo neighbor’s house and got to tell her our small prayer was answered. She looked a bit puzzled at first but has a great memory… “You’ve got Milk Duds!” “4 boxes,” I replied.”
I pick Milk Duds up for Bria and her sisters and brother at Menards, but the last few months they’ve been sold out.
I suggested to Bria that we offer small prayer for Milk Duds (as balance to all those bigger prayers that get asked across a needy world.) Ye have not not if ye do not ask. We asked and we got… Milk Duds. Did God have anything to do with that? I don’t know. The interesting part of the Milk Duds was they were stacked in dangerous abundance… about to topple on the floor. I’ve never seen them stacked that way, and I always look. I do know there’s a young girl and an old man thinking about God when we eat our Milk Duds. I’ll try to keep the stage in mind for you and hope you gain some more clarity. I enjoy hearing and seeing faith rewarded by people who will walk on in faithfulness even in disappointment. Keep it up and may you will blessed one way or another.
Judson
Thank you, Judson. I love this. Amen.
Praying with you and our sisters and brothers. Thanks for keeping us up to date with thoughts and prayers.