A Small Grief Observed

NCF Office – February 13, 2024 5 Comments

In this week’s pastor’s note, Judson Chubbuck shares with us lessons he’s embracing in this season of grieving the death of his dog. May these lessons encourage and comfort you as you grieve big and small losses in your life. -Melissa Logsdon, NCF Associate Pastor

Twenty-one years ago, we told each other, “Never again!” But Smokey was followed by Lobo and Lobo was followed by Desmond, and here we were for the third time at the emergency veterinarian clinic, Sharon, me, and Desmond on Christmas night, receiving the bad news that one more dog was dying. It was time for Desmond to begin his journey from this old world to whatever God has in store for dogs in the next one.

We were expecting this news, but we were anticipating a couple more months before saying goodbye. But tonight was the night and it wasn’t long before two sad old people were weeping and stroking their lifeless beloved “perfect puppy,” “COVID companion,” and nine year “constant cuddler.” We were quickly converted from Christmas celebrants to bereft weeping mourners, uttering quiet sighs of “Desmond, Desmond.”

Desmond’s passing hit us surprisingly hard. I personally tried to use my old armor of numbness and rationalizations like: “He’s just a dog,” “People count a lot more,” and “There’s a lot of trouble in the world. Just let him go” and false hope like “I really feel bad, but give it a few days and I’ll feel better. Give it thirty days and I’ll be better!” Well, it’s been six weeks now, and I still find myself longingly scanning the house wishing he were here again. Tears can occasionally still surprise me too! About a month into this, I decided to take my loss to prayer and reflection, asking what I might learn from this moment. I came up with three thoughts that I’ll share with you.

The first thought is that, in my sadness and loss, God is teaching me what God experiences in the suffering and death of even His smallest creation. I felt the sense of God saying, “Judson, the loss and sadness you feel for your dog is what I feel for even the tiny sparrow who falls to the ground. It is right that you feel it. Don’t diminish yourself or others for grieving even the smallest of creation.” 

All of God’s creation is holy and precious, loved by God, and our grief can be holy, too.

The second thought is that Sharon and I, each of you, and all of humanity are included in God’s holy and precious creation. When we grieve the small loss of pets or the enormous loss of people we love, God bends close to us and suffers with us. 

Try to believe and practice God present to all things.

And the last thought is that the God who suffers with us is also the parent who wants to comfort us. We desperately need that comfort because grief relates to losses that cannot be recovered in this life. Let us encourage each other to be vulnerable in our desperation, to cry out to the Lord to come near and bring us comfort. God can surround us with a deeper spiritual sense of love and comfort. At other times, God can use brothers and sisters to be the physical expression of God’s comfort—God’s very hands and feet—standing with each other, acknowledging and honoring our losses for as long as it takes, in some situations of complicated loss, until kingdom comes. 

Call on the name of the Lord.   

Weep with those who weep.

–Judson Chubbuck