Peace in Relationships

Ron Simkins – August 20, 2024 2 Comments

Today we hear from Ron Simkins in the 7th installment of his series on “Right Relationships.” Ron shares how peace, God’s total Shalom, is intended to be felt at all levels: systemic, interpersonal, and personal. May it be so! –Melissa Logsdon, NCF Associate Pastor


In addition to the topics focused on in the previous essays on the subject of “Right Relationships”—Trust, Hope, Love, Righteousness, Justice, Listening, and Forgiving—there are many other aspects of “right relationships” addressed in the biblical materials. Some further examples include: open heartedness, seeking more of the Spirit of God, discernment, wisdom, koinonia (sharing life and resources), covenant, seeing others as our sisters and brothers, responding to every human as in the image of God, learning to control our tongue, and relating to Jesus as God wants us to. If you think of others, please let me know. I may choose to write further about this in the future, and I would welcome your thoughts and insights.

We are promised that pursuing God’s reign in our lives will result in “righteousness—ie, right relationships” with God and with our fellow humans (Matthew 6:25-34 for example). The outcome of this “right relationship” is described in various ways in the Bible. One very important outcome is shalom—peace.

The Hebrew word for peace was filled with much more content than our English word tends to be. We are prone to speak of peace primarily as the absence of war and the absence of personal anxiety. These are certainly aspects of shalom, but the biblical content of shalom is much more. 

CULTURAL/SYSTEMIC SHALOM

The biblical content of shalom isn’t just personal. It is also a social/cultural experience. Zechariah describes shalom as what can occur both interpersonally and socially when we tell the truth to one another while pressing toward true justice for everyone in the society/systems (Zechariah 8:16-17). God promised cultural “peace” would result if the nation of Israel would be willing to let the spirit of God move them from systemic injustice to systemic justice:

15…until a spirit from on high is poured out on us, and the desert turns into farmland, and the farmland is considered a forest.  16 Then justice will reside in wild lands, and righteousness will abide in farmlands. 17 The fruit of righteousness (right relationships) will be peace (shalom), and the outcome of righteousness, calm and security forever. 18 Then my people will live in a peaceful (shalom) dwelling, in secure homes, in carefree resting places (Isaiah 32:15-18. CEB).

Our nations today are not ancient Israel, but surely this promise is mostly applicable to all nations who respond to God’s wish that each nation would grope after God (Acts 17:27). 

Confession: Truth is always important. Neither churches, nor Christians, have allowed God to give the gift of systemic peace through much of church history. Christians have not only waged wars of all kinds with non-Christians, they have waged wars of weapons, words, and worship with one another for centuries—and still are. New Covenant too failed to allow God to give us this gift of shalom when we fell apart as we struggled with racial equity and LGBT inclusion more than a decade ago. Sometimes we followers of Jesus just won’t allow God to give us the wonderful hard-earned gift as it is described below:

13But now in Jesus the Messiah you who once were far off have been brought near through the life-blood of the Messiah. 14For he is our peace; in his flesh he has made both groups into one and has broken down the dividing wall, that is, the hostility between us. 15He has abolished the law with its commandments and ordinances, that he might create in himself one new humanity in place of the two, thus making peace, 16and might reconcile both groups to God in one body through the cross, thus putting to death that hostility through it. 17So he came and proclaimed peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near; 18for through him both of us have access in one Spirit to the Father (Ephesians 2:13-18, NRSV).

There is much to confess and to lament so that we can repent and share in genuine faith as followers of Jesus. Or, as I prefer to say it so that it isn’t so “religious” sounding, it is time for more Truth, Tears, Turning, and Trusting! The outcome will be more shalom!

PERSONAL/INTERPERSONAL SHALOM

The experience of shalom as the outcome of a right relationship with God and with our fellow humans is also promised at the personal level. Some of the recent emphases on “meditation” and on “mindfulness” have been attempts to address our need for more personal peacefulness.

God wants us to have the experience of well-being at the core of our existence. In Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus describes this complete well-being as seeing that the Creator, who is also Jesus’ Abba, intends to ultimately provide all we need to become more fully human. Mark describes this contentment as relaxing into Jesus’ arms and allowing ourselves to be hugged and blessed:

13People kept on bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. 14But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. 15Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” 16And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.    (Mark 10:13-16, NRSV.)

A very graphic picture of the contentment that God wants to give us occurs in Psalm 131.

LORD, my heart has not been haughty, nor have my eyes looked too high,

Nor have I striven for great things, nor for things too wondrous for me.

But I have calmed and contented myself 

like a weaned baby with its mother—

like a weaned baby I am with myself.

Wait, O Israel, for the LORD, now—and until forever (Robert Alter translation).

Here, the outcome of a right relationship with God is pictured as the peaceful way a weaned child can relax and allow himself (or herself) to be hugged by a loving “mother” who in this song is “the Lord God.” Instead of squirming around like a breast-feeding baby desperately responding to the fear that it won’t find the sustaining resources it needs this time, we can just relax into the arms of God and quit squirming (worrying and fearing).

To be clear, shalom (peace) in the biblical understanding of reality does not mean we will not suffer hard things in life. Rather, it is the promised final outcome of character growth as God’s child for those who keep seeking God even in the hard times. The writer of Hebrews says it this way:

7 Bear hardship for the sake of discipline. God is treating you like sons and daughters! What child isn’t disciplined by his or her father?… 10 Our human parents disciplined us for a little while, as it seemed best to them, but God does it for our benefit so that we can share his holiness. 11 No discipline is fun while it lasts, but it seems painful at the time. Later, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness (right relationships) for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:7-11 CEB)

As the writer rightly says, no one wants to go through the hard times of life. But it is often in these times that we learn the kind of trust that deepens our relationship with God and produces a peacefulness deeper than we can even understand. 

An example that makes this talk of discipline somewhat more understandable is taking place as I write. A few minutes ago, Simone Biles won another Olympic gold medal with her amazing vault. She has spent 1000’s of hours disciplining herself, and being disciplined by her coaches, through the hardships of falls, loneliness, anxiety, and injuries. This discipline allowed her to walk up to the vault with a peaceful smile knowing she was prepared. Malcolm Gladwell suggests that almost every amazing story of excellence was preceded by a thousand disciplined practices that no one tends to notice—one of his examples is the Beatles before they were famous.

Out of his personal experience, Paul described it this way:

6 Don’t be anxious about anything; rather, bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks. 7 Then the peace of God that exceeds all understanding will keep your hearts and minds safe in Jesus the Messiah (Philippians 4:6-7 CEB).

Let’s ask God to renew in each of us the gift that Jesus promises to his followers: “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give you. I give to you not as the world (the culture) gives. Don’t be troubled or afraid” (John 14:27 CEB). 

CONCLUSION: This gift of “peace” in the midst of a world that provides very little deep peace will have to be enough until the day when peace reigns throughout the creation. Then peace will be both fully systemic, fully interpersonal, and fully personal. Jesus included this promise in the Beatitudes when he promised that the “tamed” (meek) will inherit the earth. Many of his hearers would have known that the rest of this promise was “and shall delight themselves in the abundance of shalom” (Psalm 37:11). Or, in the prophetic words of Isaiah: “His (the Prince of Peace) authority shall grow continually, and there shall be endless shalom” (Isaiah 9:7).

PRAYING FOR MORE RIGHT RELATIONSHIPS AND MORE SHALOM NOW –Ron Simkins, NCF Pastor Emeritus