Muddied Faith

Melissa Logsdon – March 25, 2025 3 Comments

How would you complete the following sentence:

Living in true obedience to God looks like…

I’m curious how you finished that sentence. 

And how age, life experiences, and years following Jesus influence how you answered.

Here’s how I finished the sentence: 

Living in true obedience to God looks like…righteous living, being responsible, doing the right thing. It’s marked by careful, intentional actions of duty and service.

I thought my answer was the “correct” answer as I’ve now been “following Jesus” for nearly 40 years.

So, I was greatly taken aback when reading how one brother of the faith, from the 13th century, Meister Eckhart, describes true obedience. Meister Eckhart completed the sentence like this:

Living in true obedience to God looks like…a carefree life, filled with bliss.

That sounds like the exact opposite of how I thought of an obedient life. 

And yet, 

When I think about the life Jesus lived, I believe Jesus modeled such a life for us.

So somehow in following Jesus, religion has muddied the waters of my faith. Apparently living a life of obedience to God’s way doesn’t have to feel like a chore. Religion with all its helpful (or not so helpful) directives clearly muddies the waters of my faith.

Thinking of muddied waters, I can quickly picture my feet on a shoreline stomping away, making the waters around my feet opaque with the stirred up sediment. 

Conversely, one of my favorite soothing experiences takes place standing along a sandy shoreline. Which, in the Midwest, my opportunities to stand on a beach seem to be few and far between. But when I get the chance, standing barefoot on a sandy shoreline, with the feeling of the waves lapping at my feet, I feel grounded and peaceful. 

Watching the waves shift the sand below my feet and my feet sinking in. 

Feeling my body still, my mind quiet, my breathing sync with the in and out movement of the waves. 

Time seems to stand still. 

And with it, a feeling of surrender washes over, not just my feet, but my soul too. This surrender is marked with a sense of deep peace and total well being. 

Thinking of these two shoreline experiences gives me a clearer picture of the choice I have on how I live out this life of faith. Do I want to keep doing so much in an effort to have my life marked as a life of true obedience, that I somehow miss out on a life of being truly obedient? And how might I position myself differently to live out my faith in such a way that it is truly obedient? Carefree? Blissful?

Recently, I started to feel fatigued by all my self care doing: being faithful with medications, doctor appointments, nutritious meals, exercise, getting enough sleep, physical therapy, talk therapy, social outings, scripture readings, church attendance…All healthy and life sustaining actions. I couldn’t understand then why I wasn’t feeling shalom with all this good. 

So during my recent vacation, I didn’t do more focused time on all the “good” things, but just was present in the moment. Listening to audiobooks with captivating fictional stories, soaking in a hot tub and looking at the sun setting over a lake. I felt like I was just absorbing instead of impacting my environment. It felt good, but truth be told, I felt a bit guilty with all this passive relaxation.

So, I did a little research to try to make sense of this different way of self care. In my search I learned there IS a difference in self nourishment (more active) and self soothing (more passive) ways of caring for myself. I learned that it’s not good to always be “on” even when doing all this good stuff. I was reminded that even our hearts have times of rest between the beats taken. Our beings need to have times of just being/existing and feeling that sense of bliss apart from doing.

Applying this to my faith, I know this isn’t a new lesson. But, one I need to be regularly reminded: to dwell and not just do.

Today, I read this verse: 

“You’re blessed when you’ve lost it all. 

God’s kingdom is there for the finding.”

–Luke 6:20 MSG

I think that’s what I discovered this week: that even when I’ve lost my health, or become fatigued by all the good I do, I can just be. And there I find bliss in God’s presence.

May this reflection help you in your quest of more of God in this Lenten season. –Melissa Logsdon, NCF Associate Pastor