I HOPE YOU FEEL FREE TO QUESTION/DOUBT. GOOD QUESTIONS #4
Before I share what Renée suggested that I share in this blog, I want to apologize for something I did not make clear in my last blog. As I said, when we take our “why” and “how long” questions to God, rather than attempt to draw away from God, God honors the trust involved in doing so. BUT, I did not mean to imply that either the experience of the Biblical writers, or my own experience, is that God usually gives us a clear answer to our “why” or “how long” questions. I have a long personal list of “Why” questions that God has not answered in ways that satisfy me. You probably do as well.
I may return to this, but for now, I want to say that I think Melissa was correct in her last blog (thanks Melissa) in saying that we rarely get a clear reason “why” from God, but we do find out that God is committed to staying in our lives when we take our questions to God. Rather than going away, God finds a way to be with us even when we go through our most confusing times—if God continues to be welcomed into those times by us. Quite often, God’s answer is a “WHO” that is committed to us rather than a “HERE’S WHY.” And, in imaging God, Jesus followed suit.
————
And now to Renée’s suggestion that I slightly rework something I wrote over fifteen years ago.
Do you ever doubt? I imagine (and hope) so!
It is impossible for most of us to live in the 21st century without having times when we are filled with questions and doubts concerning God, and/or what God has done in Jesus. We look at the condition of the church now, and through the ages. We look as nations develop weapons of annihilation. We look at American history. We look at poverty and injustice throughout the world and in our own country. We hold loved ones as they die from dreaded diseases. We sit with friends who are developing Alzheimer’s. We attempt to put together what we know scientifically with what we know from our experience and theology. We attempt to put together our experiences of God’s presence with our experiences of God’s silence. And we have questions. Real, honest, necessary questions that sometimes are doubts.
We also live in the era of human history in which Western thought has been reconstructed great skeptics with important questions—Descartes, Kant, Hume, Hobbes, Machavelli, Freud, Darwin, Marx, Huxley, etc. Whether we know what these people wrote or not, we are all deeply effected by the influence they have had on the world we live in—the water we swim in. They pointed out many important realities that cannot, and should not, be ignored. In doing so, they raised many very basic questions about reality. On the other hand, it would have been helpful if each of them had been a bit more skeptical about their own skepticism being the entire picture of reality!
The act of doubting has been around as long as human beings have been recording their stories. Consider this as just one of many examples in the Bible—I listed several more in my last blog:
Matthew 11:2-3: “2When John heard in prison what the Messiah was doing, he sent his disciples 3to ask him, ‘Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?’”
I find it helpful to see that the Biblical writers are honest about reporting this experience of questioning and doubting in the midst of trusting and hoping. In the context of the quotation above, Jesus does not castigate John for wondering how Jesus could possibly be the promised Messiah. Reality was extremely confusing for John at the moment. What was God doing? How did Jesus fit in, or didn’t he? But Jesus didn’t focus on the doubts included in John’s question. Jesus focused on John’s faithful courage, faithful willingness to pay the cost of serving God, and faithful role as a prophet of God speaking God’s word.
The ability to question and doubt is a gift and a necessary tool. We could never sort out falsehoods and lies without this tool. We can only grow if we can doubt that where we are at present is “all the truth there is” and continue to ask questions about what we might be missing. If we could not doubt, we would continue believing every lie, every half-truth, and every error we have ever believed—about God, Jesus, American History, Church History, Church Doctrine, Race, Gender, what it means to follow Jesus, etc. Being free to doubt and question is crucial to seeking more and deeper truth. In fact, most “I know” and “we know” statements should be framed as “As far as I know now” and “As best we know now.”
John’s doubting certainly did not destroy his relationship with Jesus. Jesus is filled with honor for John’s trustworthiness. However, Jesus’ response did include a warning. Our doubts and questions can cause us to “stumble,” because what God is doing, and what we can fully understand, may be very different at times. Sometimes we will not get an answer to our “why” that satisfies us. We do not have the big picture. I am not sure that John was satisfied with the answer Jesus sent back to him. We just get a “Who!” The relationship is still there if we want it!
Meanwhile, I find it comforting to hear Jesus speak in a manner that makes it clear that he did not see questioning and doubting as incompatible with serving God. We can be people who trust and hope, and we can have big questions. After all, it is quite a Biblical heritage. Revisit Jeremiah, Abraham and Sarah, Job, Naomi, the Psalms, Habukkuk, or Gideon—or John the Baptizer. (Maybe later we will revisit my favorite apostle who has come to be called “Doubting Thomas.”)
You will find that questions and doubts are far less dangerous when they are not questions about God without God, but questions put directly to God (and now to Jesus as well). John the Baptist doesn’t leave it at wondering about “him,” but questions Jesus as “you.” A very helpful model for living with hope and trust in our modern world!
More later—God willing!