Doubting and Loving/Committed Relationships with Jesus

Ron Simkins – July 7, 2026 2 Comments

One of the 12 apprentices that Jesus the Rabbi chose was Thomas. He doesn’t get a lot of space in the Gospels, but the space that he does receive has led to a common catch phrase among Jesus followers through the years—“Doubting Thomas.”

I could “defend” Thomas by pointing out that Peter, the person Jesus chose to be the spokesperson of this inner circle of students, receives a lot more space in the Gospels describing the times that he doubted that Jesus had things right. But I don’t want to try to “defend” either Thomas or Peter. (Or myself! Or, perhaps you as well?)

Instead, I want to focus on Thomas’ relationship with Jesus in his three recorded interactions with Jesus. They all appear in the Gospel of John. Since John is the only one to record any of these interactions, perhaps he had quietly shared Thomas’ doubts and questions in each situation. Whatever the reason, John decided to include these interactions between Jesus and Thomas in his Gospel when no other Gospel writer did. I find these encounters very encouraging in my relationship with God and with God’s Messiah Jesus. In all three instances, Thomas questions the way God is working through Jesus. And, in all three instances, Thomas loves Jesus more than life itself. At one and the same time, Thomas “doubts” that Jesus had things right in a specific situation, and he is fully committed to giving his life to the relationship they share.

John 11:1-16 records Jesus’ enigmatic responses to the news that Jesus’ close friend Lazarus was ill and dying. Jesus confuses everyone with his responses. Then, when everyone is thoroughly confused, Jesus decides to lead the entire band into a situation that Thomas knows may lead to their arrest and their execution. It is time for someone to say something out loud to Jesus about this foolishness. Thomas decides to be the one. He thinks what Jesus is about to do, and about to lead them into as well, is completely misguided. But he loves Jesus so much that he encourages all of the disciples to respond like this: “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” If Thomas is going to die sooner than he had expected, he wants it to be with, and for, Jesus.

In John 14:1-5, during the Passover celebration with his disciples, Jesus begins a long final teaching session. It is filled with sections that had to be confusing at the time. Some of them still tend to be enigmatic, while others were soon clarified as future events unfolded. Jesus says, “You know the way to where I am going.” Thomas responds, “How can we know the way? We don’t even know where you are going!” Seems reasonable to me. I often have similar questions for Jesus. “Jesus, how can I know the way to live, the choices that I need to make right now, I can’t even figure out where this is all going?” And, “I am glad you love me and call me your friend. I want to be willing to live and die for you as you were willing to live and die for me” (John 15:12-17).

John 20:19-29 tells us that after Jesus was executed, most of the inner circle of disciples locked themselves into someone’s home in order to hide from the police. They expected at any minute to be hunted down, arrested, and probably executed. They were followers of Jesus the dangerous executed traitor (according to Rome) and the dangerous blasphemer of God (according to the High Priest clan). Other than Judas, Thomas seems to be the only disciple who doesn’t choose to join them in their hideout. We are not told why. 

I will speculate a bit. My sense of who Thomas was, his personality, is that Jesus’ death took away all meaning for him. It no longer made any difference to him whether he lived or died. If Jesus had God all wrong, there was no meaning left—either in living or in dying. It is how I would think and feel if I thought that Jesus was still dead and that Jesus had completely misunderstood what God was doing.

Regardless of whether my speculation is correct or not, what does occur in John’s account is that Jesus appears to the fearful band of disciples while Thomas is absent. They attempt to convince Thomas that they have seen Jesus alive and well. Thomas is determined not to be fooled again. He just doesn’t believe them. In fact, he won’t believe them no matter what they say or do. Dead is dead. Jesus just had it wrong. He meant well. We disciples meant well too, but we got it wrong when we thought Jesus knew what God was doing.

Only if Thomas can touch the place where the military police nailed Jesus’ hands and speared his side will he trust what Jesus said about life, and death, and life after death. Graciously, Jesus later appears again, and he invites Thomas to do exactly what he said he needed to do. And, suddenly Thomas doesn’t need to do it anymore. He knows! And, once again, he is all in on the relationship.

I find Jesus’ relationship with Thomas very encouraging. I find Thomas’ relationship with Jesus very encouraging. Their relationship helps me trust God with my life.  Perhaps I, perhaps you, can have a lot of questions about how Jesus asks us to go about serving God. And we can at the same time be all in on the relationship. The relationship that for me—as for “doubting Peter” long ago—remains, even in my most confusing times, the only real life that I have ever found or seen (John 6:67-69). -Ron Simkins, NCF Pastor Emeritus